I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
