Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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