a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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