There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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