I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
