oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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