it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Send help, water and tortillas.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
