I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
