A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
