What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
