Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
