I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
