hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
