but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
