if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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