i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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