is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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