I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
