I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
