I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
