4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
