My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
