Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
