He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
