I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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