You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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