But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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