I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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