I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
