he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
