Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
