Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
