i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
