He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
