What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The beer is more important than you right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
