even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
