Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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