Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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