you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
