He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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