Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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