you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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