just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
