Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
