If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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