so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
