I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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