Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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