he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
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