she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
