That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize