sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
