i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
