the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
