Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
