i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
