i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
