Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
