My brain says no but my pants say off.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Shitshow foam night was such a success
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
