just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
