Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
